The Socially Inept

Internet, why is it every time we have a conversation, the only thing I do is walk away and wish I could have had those 3 minutes of my life back? I hate fucking cliches almost as much as I despise Light Beer. As a matter of fact, I hate people on a semi-regular basis. I do not take shit, I do not talk shit. I am a strong supporter of slapping a motherfucker in his cock socket. If a verbal altercation were to arise with myself and some random douchebag, there would be no yelling or arguing. That shit is pointless. No, instead I would simply state that I knew I was more intelligent (Because I am) and I would then kick the shit out of said random douchebag. So many people these days believe that talking things out is the way to go. Conversation is overrated. Not everyone in the United Fucking States is a gifted conversationalist. Trying to have a worthwhile conversation with anyone while I'm out at the bars or anywhere in general; it's like getting a visectomy when you're 70. It's fucking pointless. I hate when the majority of you force your opinions on me within the first two minutes of knowing me. I hate the fact that people feign curiousity, yet I know they blatantly don't give a shit. The world is becoming socially challenged.

The "Enough Said" Guy. Wow, I'm so glad out of all the people to single me out while I'm pounding shots, it's this fucking guy. Not only is he interrupting my drinking, but he has no opinion of his own. At every topic which we're speaking of, he concludes with, "Enough said." What the fuck are you trying to say to me, moron? Do you not have any idea as how to articulate your experiences or thoughts? Are so you fucking stupid that you assume the entire would thinks on the same wave length as you? Do you speak for the entire 6+ billion people of the globe? Thanks for interrupting my fresh burst of Jack Daniels with the fact that you have no idea what to say next, and therefore inserting a cliche.

The "Been There, Done that" Guy. What the fuck do I care? Do you honestly think I will build a golden calf and bless it with Rose Petals? If I am trying to relate to you, it means I once thought you interesting; however, now you're a fucking moron because not only can you not impart wisdom upon someone, but you just fail at life in general. FYI, no one thinks you're cool for being there and doing that. You are the equivalent to being a mute eye witness to a triple homicide. Take your hands, wrap them around your throat, and just fucking squeeze.

The "Child's Play" Guy. Seriously? What the fuck do you have to prove? No one cares whether or not you can hit 3 of a kind on the flop. As a matter of fact, people hate you for it. I hope they hate you enough to kick the shit out of you after the Poker game. What is seriously so great about this statement? It's Child's Play. Is it the fact that you can be better at some fucking activity, and you're so good in fact that you upstage Toddlers everywhere? Pissing in a sandbox, playing Tag, and eating fucking paste. That's Child's Play.

America, from now on, just e-mail me.